


Almost Got Her!

by ItsPurvis



Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Touhou Project
Genre: Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24640840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsPurvis/pseuds/ItsPurvis
Summary: From a request in 2010: Poker Night where everyone is invited.This is shameless, I won't apologize.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Almost Got Her!

"So there we were," says Remilia as she deals the cards. The Scarlet Devil Mansion's main drawing room; decorated in reds, crimsons, and vermilions; is silent, everyone there listening to the vampire's story. All eyes are on her. "Had the Red-White's back to the wall. It was just We and her. So We pulled out Scarlet Gensokyo. And you know what happened?"  
  
"She whizzed around like a like a bat affected by your maid's power and dodged every last bit of it?" asks Yuyuko, and she takes her cards and glances at them.  
  
"Who's telling this story?" Remilia says, shooting the grinning ghost princess a look. "But yeah, that's what happened. Next thing We knew, needles everywhere! It took us a week to sleep it off!"  
  
"Well, I can sympathize," says Yuyuko as she contemplates her cards, and tosses a green chip into the pile. "I thought I had a marvelous plan, myself. Lure her to the foot of the Saigyou Arayashi, and then force her to deal with a card that she can't even hit me to stop! It was perfect, I thought. But alas, even when she's low on resources, she can still dodge with the best of them."  
  
"Oh quite," says Kaguya, as she discards two cards. "I had a similar plan. But rather than being invincible, I focused more on intricate patterns and a long period of being untouchable. Alas, no luck." She tosses a few green chips into the pile. The rest of the table matches.  
  
"Well, it wasn't very fast," says Yuyuko. "I would like to think I got a lot of mileage out of Resurrection Butterfly's speed."  
  
"Speed works decently," says Kanako, as she rearranges her cards. "But even with that and an intricate and confusing pattern, I've discovered a fatal weakness in what I thought was a practically invincible spellcard."  
  
"She slips through the tiniest gaps?" asks Utsuho, holding her cards in just one hand. With a flip of her thumb, she sends three cards into the discard pile.  
  
"Oh but We hate when she does that!" Remilia says, scowling at her cards, her hand on one. Finally she decides to discard it with the others again.  
  
"Oh yeah?" says Tenshi. "Well I threw a rock at her!"  
  
The table goes silent, as everyone looks at Tenshi with disdain, confusion, or in the case of the largest woman at the table, a trace of pity. Tenshi frowns at the reception. "Well...it was a really big rock!"  
  
"See, I thought I had best one," Utsuho says, before Tenshi can dig herself any deeper. "Forget bullets, just straight up mess with the playing field! Made it so no one could move properly, and kept drawing her in! Only way to stay alive was to dart right into the layers of bullets I was pulling toward me! It was genius! But...welp. Here I am. Probably for the better, I guess."  
  
Yuyuko looks toward a grandfather clock along the side wall. "Oh my, the time does fly. Well, this shall be my last hand, I'm afraid. It's nearly time for dinner!"  
  
"We had dinner like an hour ago," Tenshi says, giving Yuyuko a sidelong look.  
  
"I don't believe I mentioned that at all," says Yuyuko, as she tosses a few more chip into the pile.  
  
"I was rather pleased with my own idea," says Byakuren, looming over the table as she frowns at her cards, then places them face down on the table. "Indirect homing, with volume making up for the ease of dodging, just piling on more and more as time passed. But it just wasn't to be."  
  
"At least you didn't a fool made of yourself," says Remilia, frowning at Byakuren. "You got what you wanted, you lucky jerk! Really though, I think we can agree all these ideas were of excellent quality. It's just that the Red White is far too fast, and slender!" A chorus of agreement goes around the table.  
  
"Gee," says Reimu, glancing at the other players, "Thanks for the well wishes. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Alright, let's get Yuyuko out of here. Show 'em!"


End file.
